Temporary Home

It's dangerous to listen to country music when you are emotionally on the edge.  I've spent the past week thinking my wife is dying and bottling up all the emotions that go with that.  Yesterday I was driving to work, which, since the core of my property management business is to collect rent from about 600 tenants every month, the only way I can imagine not going to work on the 5th of the month is if Sue actually did die on or around that day.  She didn't die yesterday, and last night I switched back over to the other side, and now I think she isn't going to die anytime soon.  But more about that later.  I've already told you, this blog is about me.

So I was driving to work and listening to country music, and this Carrie Underwood song comes on the radio called Temporary Home (click the link to hear the song), and the tears started to flow a bit.  The song is co-written by Carrie Underwood, Robert Laird,  and Zac Maloy, and the words go like this:

Little boy, 6 years old

A little too used to bein' alone
Another new mom and dad,another school
Another house that'll never be home
When people ask him how he likes this place
He looks up and says with a smile upon his face

"This is my temporary home
It's not where I belong
Windows and rooms that I'm passin' through
This is just a stop, on the way to where I'm going
I'm not afraid because I know this is my
Temporary Home."

Young mom on her own
She needs a little help got nowhere to go
She's lookin' for a job, lookin' for a way out
Because a half-way house will never be a home
At night she whispers to her baby girl
Someday we'll find a place here in this world

"This is our temporary home
It's not where we belong
Windows and rooms that we're passin' through
This is just a stop, on the way to where we're going
I'm not afraid because I know this is our
Temporary Home."

Old man, hospital bed
The room is filled with people he loves
And he whispers don't cry for me
I'll see you all someday
He looks up and says "I can see God's face"

"This is my temporary Home
It's not where I belong
Windows and rooms that I'm passin' through
This was just a stop,on the way To where I'm going
I'm not afraid because I know this was
My temporary home."

This is our temporary home


And if that song doesn't cause you to tear up a bit, maybe you have a heart made of stone.  But anyhow, back to Sue.  Something was different last night, and I can't quite put my finger on it.  It's almost like a corner was turned, but seeing the difference from yesterday to today might be like sitting outside and watching your grass grow. 

She's still sick and has all the symptons described in my blog of yesterday.  Plus she has the bad habit of pulling out her feeding tube, which she's done three times already.  In her defense she does it while sleeping and drugged up.  I joked to Mark W. last night (we were in the room with Sue and her sense of humor is very good -- for example she accused Mark of only stopping by to visit with me)  that Sue is trying to commit suicide by x-ray.  (You've heard of suicide by cop where the person wants the cops to shoot him?  Well, they seem to think they have to x-ray the tube every time they insert it to be sure it's in the stomach.  She's been x-rayed for the feeding tube insertion four times now.  However, I heard from Debbie F, an R.N. of old (or is she just an old R.N.?)  who said that, back in the old days, they used to insert these tubes all the time without an x-ray and they could tell it was in the right place without an x-ray by forcing air into the tube and listening.)

So maybe the hospital is just a temporary home for Sue until she comes home to the temporary home where we currently live.  But anyway, I'm temporarily going out of the predicting business.

P.S.  I have ultimate respect for police officers, and only use the term "cop" because the phrase "suicide by cop" is now in common usage.  I used to adhere to the "copper badge" theory as the probable derivation of the term "cop."  However, I just now discovered (on the internet, the ultimate purveyor of truth) that the "copper badge" theory probably is a myth.  Click here for the latest on the derivation of the term "cop."