Monday, May 18, 2009

What I’ll Do After You’re Gone

We got away to our special place at Huntinton Lake for a day. While we’re sitting at the lake eating lunch and fishing Sue says if she dies I have to spread her ashes at Inspiration Point. Also, if she’s real sick she wants me to just “conk” her ‘cause she doesn’t want to stretch it out or suffer. Right. I’ll conk you so I can spend the rest of my life in prison with no one to visit me.

I want my ashes spread at Huntington Lake too, but I can’t get a fix on exactly where. Somewhere where I can watch the Osprey fish. Doesn’t seem so pressing for me to decide just yet.

She’s really tired and sore so we decide to head home. On the way home she dozes and I mentally spend her life insurance and run through the possible scenarios of what I’ll do, where I’ll go, how I’ll live, etc. after she’s gone. Too soon to think about getting a new wife, I guess.


  1. hah hah hah thats so funny. (NOT REALLY)How did you spend the insurance and though it sounds kinda cruel It also seems you were ready to let her go. Men are like that. Get rid of the old diseased person and bring in some fresh blood. Interesting though.

  2. I am so sorry to hear about your wife. My name is Vanessa Jaramillo, I was friends with your daughters at Pinedale Elementary. I was raised in the Pinedale neighborhood, I was often stereotyped as a 'trouble maker' and being 'poor,' but reguardless of those factors...your family always welcomed me with open arms. I was at your house often for gatherings with all the girls. Although we grew and parted ways, I still consider them apart of my best childhood memories. I'd just like to give your family my deepest condolences, and I really love the blogs you have posted. My mother also passed from cancer my senior year, and I had to watch her slowly deteriorate as this disease had taken her life. The decisions, viewpoints...just basically preparing for what 'reality' holds, is something very hard to accept. But I can see you and your family have gracefully accepted this, and I know Susan is in a better place. I wish my father had prepared for this, the way you did. He did the complete opposite. He blew her life insurance policy, we didn't see a dime. He refinanced our home under her name after she passed, and I had to fight him in court. He married a lady who I am ashamed to call my step-mother, and she milked him dry for every cent. He beat on me. The list goes on and on. As for the person who quoted me before, you are heartless and I pray God gives you some insight for your lack of knowledge. I respect your acceptance of your wife's passing, and the way you have prepared. Too many people let the little things go unnoticed, and it can turn into a disaster as it did for my family. God bless your family, and your daughters. This experience will only make you stronger as a family, and the new take on life God will bless you with, is something that nobody will understand :)

  3. I understand that thought,i am going thru it myself,i have caught myself and wondered how i can possibly think on those ideas of what it would be like without him here and yet..,your mind automatically goes there even it you don't want it to,,even if you are fully not accepting the outcome of the death of a loved one you still visit those what if's. you can't know unless you have worn those shoes,,it's not heartless,it's human nature