tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7011190064765587212.post5018806208747267921..comments2023-10-29T01:29:53.007-07:00Comments on The My Wife Has Cancer Blog: Dead Woman Talkingby George!http://www.blogger.com/profile/17235075120099550324noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7011190064765587212.post-30021109660551931772012-04-07T04:03:49.713-07:002012-04-07T04:03:49.713-07:00My wife died almost 2 weeks ago of br cancer. I a...My wife died almost 2 weeks ago of br cancer. I actually wonder if cancer is a normal process and is just one for someone to move on to the next step. Reading up on the cellular mechanisms of cancer (I'm a dr) I was struck with how the body has actually evolved mechanisms for C, how deep this process is embedded in our genes, how hard it is to "cure". She had herceptin, but the brain secondaries got her. I feel sad, but maybe I should rejoice?Andrew NOLANhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10169644269624371077noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7011190064765587212.post-60036980131156984712010-12-04T19:27:08.532-08:002010-12-04T19:27:08.532-08:00Wow, after a few minutes of weeping, had to commen...Wow, after a few minutes of weeping, had to comment to this post. I have never in my 10 years being on the "www" posted my opinion anywhere. This, however, moved me to the point I had to.<br /><br />I have met the most wonderful man (his name is BRUCE!) whose wife committed suicide 3 years ago. I was horrified when I went to his house the first time. She was a hoarder who boxed him in wholly and completely. You can see the track he makes when he comes home from work. Straight in the door to his seat on the couch. The rut he has worn in the carpet is very evident.<br /><br />I could not hold back the horror, the shock, the tears when I saw how he has been living.<br /><br />There were some very touching posts here that made me see that I need to help this man live on "this side of heaven". Especially Sandy's post: you have to continue "living here on earth" while she does what she does. And the second is a message to not feel guilty about those things that must be done in order to continue the "living" process.<br /><br />I laid with this man in his bed and when I awoke in the morning, 3 years after his wife is gone, the first thing I see is her pony-tail holder and the book she was reading... He has not even begun the work and it is too tender and heartwrenching for me, yet he tells me he's ready...<br /><br />These posts are beautiful and have helped me see the tragedy of losing a deeply loved one and coupled with that the tragedy of the "stuff" they leave behind that we are paralyzed in fear of moving...<br /><br />If I have been sent into Bruce's life to help him with this "next stage" I will prayerfully and lovingly help him through this through the insight you all have given me here. <br /><br />Thank you all for being so honest and open with your hearts. You've changed this woman and in the interim will have helped a truly wonderful and amazing man.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7011190064765587212.post-64029289341272875942010-04-22T21:04:56.451-07:002010-04-22T21:04:56.451-07:00George,
I have a co-worker who lost her sister tr...George,<br /><br />I have a co-worker who lost her sister tragically and ever since she has vivid dreams of her. Each time she dreams of her sister she feels as though it is real and each time she feels at peace after her dream. She and her sister had a very close relationship and I believe it is her sisters way of keeping in touch with her. As I believe that Sue is sending you messages to help guide you through your grief and all the emotions that come with it. <br /><br />I have never suffered a loss as great as you have but I believe God and Sue will carry you through these tough times. I pray for you and your girls every night. <br /><br />God Bless You.Esmereldahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06492141953055646202noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7011190064765587212.post-75366458038725134882010-04-22T19:37:57.984-07:002010-04-22T19:37:57.984-07:00I had a very vivid dream recently in which my Mom...I had a very vivid dream recently in which my Mom, now gone 4 years, hugged me tight and told me she loves me. She said she was proud of me. And I think it was a message from my Mom that I dearly needed and I won't even entertain any other theory!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7011190064765587212.post-3402920418040659442010-04-21T20:04:01.991-07:002010-04-21T20:04:01.991-07:00Geroge,
I have had similar expirences before from...Geroge,<br /><br />I have had similar expirences before from a Grandpa, after the birth of my son... So I believe it is possible. Thank you for insight, knowledge, and most of all telling your feelings about very dificult things. I know if you wrote a book we all would learn from it! Hang in there! You are in my thoughts. Jenn LAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7011190064765587212.post-31080459759321104782010-04-21T19:28:46.128-07:002010-04-21T19:28:46.128-07:00First off... your title did not go unnoticed. Goo...First off... your title did not go unnoticed. Good job. ;)<br /><br />Secondly... I don't know what dreams mean. :) And we'll probably never really know this side of heaven. But it's interesting trying to figure them out. I read some stuff years ago on interpreting... and I thought I had some of my dreams figured out. Maybe, maybe not. Maybe I thought I'd figured them out because that's what I 'wanted' them to mean. They may simply have been a way of processing through stuff that I wasn't able to do when awake. <br /><br />It might be mostly how we 'feel' after the dreams. Do your dreams give you a feeling of freedom or peace... considering what you were wondering about? You have no reason for guilt in the things you were pondering. But I know it'd be hard not to 'feel' guilty anyway. So I hope the dreams gave you a sense of peace. I'm interested to hear what your thoughts are on them.<br /><br />Praying for healing of your pain... through dreams or whatever means God uses for you. And for peace in all your decisions.Grandma Ghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09260178906088230163noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7011190064765587212.post-67436802241483167982010-04-21T12:03:38.297-07:002010-04-21T12:03:38.297-07:00I believe in an "after living" place as ...I believe in an "after living" place as I had several powerful dreams of my father after he died. My interpretation, and it is only mine, is that the first dream was Sue reminding you that you have to continue "living here on earth" while she does what she does. And the second is a message to not feel guilty about those things that must be done in order to continue the "living" process. But don't rush... let your heart be your guide... did you know there is a brain in your heart as well as in your head? Drumvalo Melchizadek says when we are "in our heart" we are making good life choices, but when we are "in our head" we are making choices based on logic, not necessarily on life.<br />Hope this helps...Sandyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02265922352726668243noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7011190064765587212.post-16696869867907793542010-04-21T11:45:42.285-07:002010-04-21T11:45:42.285-07:00Hmmm...interesting. I have no idea how to interpre...Hmmm...interesting. I have no idea how to interpret dreams, but I'm glad you had them. In the spirit of making my "afterlife" more comfortable for my husband, I'm going to start discarding my stuff now - having it go where and to whom I want. Thank you for the post - I never thought about him feeling guilty about getting rid of my stuff, but he would. I should take care of that myself. Anything I can do to make it easier on him after. I'm so glad you're doing so well. You're a good husband - continuing to make your wife happy. I know: I have a good husband too. That's just what good husbands do.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7011190064765587212.post-16216638310509949912010-04-21T11:45:34.307-07:002010-04-21T11:45:34.307-07:00George;
Thank you for sharing these dreams. I liv...George;<br /><br />Thank you for sharing these dreams. I lived in Yosemite for many years. Your description of the Ahwahnee views and its internal ambience brought back strong memories for me. In fact, I have a good idea who the pianist was.<br /><br />As to your dreams: I cannot offer any insight other than to say they were, indeed, powerful. Trust your interpretations.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7011190064765587212.post-46290603849055446732010-04-21T08:57:05.234-07:002010-04-21T08:57:05.234-07:00George-
Your blog has hit very close to home thi...George-<br /> Your blog has hit very close to home this year and again I'm amazed at your ability to tell a story- maybe you were meant to be an English profesor and novelist!<br /><br /> I fully believe that our loved ones spirits help us through these times and that dreams can have meaning. Knowing Sue and watching your family over the years I know she would understand as you started to go through things. Take time, go through her things as you can. There is no rush and I know her spirit and the Lord will let you know what to do. They will guide you as you begin to live this "new normal."<br />I'm not super familiar with cancer groups and such (although I'm starting to learn . .. ) but in my prematurity world and world where we have lost infants we always talk about "the new normal." Life never is the same, but we learn to deal with what we are going through and we have to live. <br />Sue wants you to live your life. Take your time, wait for the Lord, and smile daily. I know this would make Sue happy!<br /><br />Big Hugs!<br />Lorigirlyhurleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00950092772391292036noreply@blogger.com